Spirit often sends me the situations I need to grow when I am struggling through something that isn't serving my highest good. For example, any time my boundaries begin to slip and I begin to give too much of myself without being compensated (like going way over on time in my readings), the universe will send me a bunch of random strangers asking for free readings. This never fails. The universe is reflecting back at me the things I need to work on again (valuing myself and my energy).
The latest lesson I've had to learn is to become more assertive and stubborn in my readings. I have a bad habit, in my personal life and in my work, of deferring to other people, especially when they come off as more confident than me. For me it's a habit of assuming that others know better than I do.
So last week, Spirit sent me a client for a mediumship reading, and in the very beginning of the reading I got a couple pieces of information that the client said didn't make sense to her. These were so clear to me, yet she said she couldn't take it, so I moved ahead assuming she knew better than I, and that my abilities might just be a little off that day (these were her loved ones after all, not mine). So as I moved ahead with the reading, I kept assuming that my abilities were off, making me doubt or rethink everything coming through, or just not say certain things if they didn't come really strongly. It made for a very halting reading with lots of long pauses, and just not up to my usual speed and flow. The information coming through did make sense, but it wasn't full of "zingers". At the end of the reading she suddenly realized that the part she had said no to in the beginning actually was correct and very relevant. I was simultaneously relieved and frustrated at myself for not insisting on the info at the time when it came through.
Later that night, as I was getting into bed, I felt my client's loved one next to me. I normally have a very strict policy with spirits not to bother me at night time or while I am sleeping. This time however, I wasn't feeling all that satisfied with how the reading went, so I gave the spirit permission to give me more pieces of evidence about him in my dreams, if he wanted to.
I know it sounds idyllic in a way that I can get some work done while I am sleeping, but in reality I sleep horribly whenever a spirit connects with me. Their energy and presence keeps waking me up. Despite my lack of sleep, I was happy the spirit could come through in my dreams as well. What the reading had made clear to me though, is that I need to seriously work on my assertiveness in readings. This definitely wasn't the first time this has happened where a client says no to a piece of info that later turns out to be true, and though I have improved quite a bit in not letting this affect me, I clearly have more work to do on it.
A couple days later, I did another mediumship reading, this time with a married couple who wished me to connect to their dog that had just passed. During the reading, their dog showed me a reference to my client's having kids, and then he specified by showing me a boy. I asked my clients if they had kids, or a boy. They said no, they don't, so I moved on, but this time I didn't let it affect my reading, because I trusted that the client probably either misunderstood something or was forgetting something. But then later on in the reading, the dog brought up the boy again, insisting he was right, so I said to my clients "I know you guys already said you don't have kids, but he really is insisting on this piece of information". That's when they said that well, the husband has a son from a previous marriage. They probably didn't think it was worth mentioning because the dog hadn't met him that many times when he was alive.
Like I said, this kind of thing happens all the time. Amnesia hits clients in readings because they are overwhelmed, or they are so focused on the information they want the spirit to mention that they forget everything else. Or there's just some miscommunication going on between everyone. That's quite understandable of course. A reading is always team work between the medium, the spirit, and the client. But a lot of the time the medium and spirit have to take the lead and let the client figure it out later.
It's such a big shift for me to stop assuming that a client is remembering correctly or knows what the spirit is referring to. I am committing again to deferring to my own abilities and to Spirit, instead of other people.
I hope you all continue to have a wonderful week. And may we all learn to stop deferring to other people, and trust our own abilities, whether or not you are a psychic medium.